F U Scale!

Well, HELLO Monday Weigh in Day.  This morning I said a big F-U to my scale.  I was a bit pissed off only because I had been weighing in all weekend and I ate like SUPER good yesterday.  I know AF is a week away so I know this is PMS bloat but hey, it still pisses you off…. So I stepped on the scale and it said.

Excuse me…. That is 1.4lbs up from last Monday and 3.4lbs up since Friday. UGH….. Either way I am going to just accept this and move on.  I am calling this PMS water weight and that’s that!  Or I hope so.

So this means for the Month of August I lost a total of 5lbs.  Either way it’s 5lbs less so that’s a plus.  I have to at this point just focus on the fact I did have a loss this month and accept it and move on.  Could it be bigger? Yes!  But that’s NOT the point of this journey and I need to remind myself of just that.  So here is to FIVE pounds down.

Here is to next month!  Hey even at 5 pounds a month that’s still 60lbs in a year!  That’s not so bad!

 

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Our Before Pictures Are Here :)

As I mentioned before I was going to do my before pictures soon.  These pictures were not going to be your typical before weight loss before photo’s.  I wanted my before photos to still be beautiful.  I wanted to feel good.  Not embarrassed, fat, ugly, etc.  I wanted this journey to be about loving myself.  So as I go through this journey I will be having pictures taken every so often of our weight loss achievements.  My husband and I are both doing this together.

My husband lost tons of weight after the birth of our daughter, but over the past year he has put on a few pounds so he agreed to do the pics with me 🙂 I on the other hand I have been on this journey for a while now but thought I would do myself a disservice if I didn’t feel like I put in a 100%.  I know I personally have health issues on my side that’s going to effect progress but I have faith some how, some way I will get this weight off. If anything I will have pictures of me looking beautiful even if I am big 🙂

So I talked with my photographer friend and asked if she would be willing to help me.  I told her I wanted to do pictures that seemed normal but that showed different sides of my body without it looking like your typical before photos.  Melody loved the idea and was on board and it wasn’t long before D was on board too 🙂 So without further adieu here some of my favorite photos we had done.  The Lovely Melody at  Melody J photography took the photos 🙂

I don’t need you to defend my size

I was looking online last night for some nice plus size clothing.  As many of you know, apart of my journey is loving me.  ALL of me!  Yep, that means the fat, rolls, and all…. Learning to accept the person I am and not just this body.  It’s hard, but it’s important.

So, I am on this site and it showed three plus sized woman trying on clothes from online stores.  Basically, the premises of the video is to get stores to put more plus size clothing (and when we say plus size we mean more size 20 and UP) not size 10 to say 18, those I find everywhere pretty much.

Anyways, I made the mistake to look at the comments.  One trend I noticed were people talking about how people should not “glamorize” fat and a like comments.  But what got me more was the people defend the plus size ladies with this “you don’t know if they are trying to lose weight, if they have any issues” and other similar comments.

While, I DO agree with this comment, I am proof of someone who has had health issues that caused me to be overweight not just the food I eat.  I also found that these comments were not helping me either as a plus size person.

These comments back still made it seem like maybe, I was still trying to get healthy.  Instead of simply saying stop judging,  they are beautiful women!  We now feel we have to justify why exactly these woman are overweight and what they are or are not doing about it as if it’s really anyone’s business.

I mean you don’t see someone of “normal” body size photo’s and think do they eat healthy?  Are they diseased?  Because that’s the funny thing, you can have disease at any shape, you can be unhealthy at any shape.  You don’t have to be just obese to be unhealthy.

Look, I don’t glamorize being over weight.  In a whole being over weight freaking sucks.  BUT I do feel like it’s important to be able to look nice and feel good about myself.  My struggles with my size and my body is MY business, not yours unless I want it to be!

You have NO right to tell me what I need to do, what I need to eat, OR not eat, how I should do things, determine how lazy I am, etc unless you are also willing to be judged in an alike sense.  NO ONE is perfect.  And I don’t need any one to judge that NOR do I need anyone to defend my imperfections.

Because at the end of the day why can’t it be just, look at that smile or look at her confidence?  Not, look at how much weight I “need” to lose.  Or trying to give me the benefit of the doubt.  (I hope this all makes sense lol).  I don’t need the benefit of the doubt.  Just see ME…. The me you would see if I wasn’t a plus sized person.

Weigh-In Monday 8/24

So as I mentioned last night my last weigh-in I didn’t post but I do know it which was 325 this was oh like 7 pounds up from what I was the week before and only 1lb down from when I started two weeks prior.

So this morning I stepped on the scale and I was pleasantly surprised, even though I had a few small splurges with thing
s (some ice cream) all in all I am happy.  Scale says as you can see 320.8 I don’t think that’s too shabby of a loss still for a week.

And still has me down almost 5lbs since I started two weeks ago. So I will still call this victory.

In other news today is BACK TO SCHOOL…. Yep, my kiddo’s had to retire early (which one woke up super early and couldn’t find herself back to sleep yikes!) Get up early and head on out to the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  

This year I am welcoming A our 15-year-old Sophomore, K our 13-year-old Eighth Grader and C our 11 (almost 12) year old Sixth Grader.  Only the 15-year-old was truly excited mainly because high school is just a social club I think lol…..

I can’t believe how fast they grow!   

 

I know, I know

So last week you didn’t see a weigh in from me.  I will admit last week I wasn’t in the best place.  Not really because of my weight persay, just lots of things going on I guess and my hormones I swear are all over the place.  Which btw doesn’t help.

So liked expected my daughter’s birthday screwed up all my progress from the previous week.  The day before her bday we had some sweets for her, then her bday came and more stuff, and then the weekend.

I could have made better choices, but I didn’t.  And that’s okay, I will take it and move on.  By Monday I was 325 just one pound less than where I had started what like two weeks before.  So instead of being down 8lbs from the beginning I was down .5.

But again, this Sunday really did mark when everything was “official”.  Tonight hubby and I did our “before and after” photos together with the photographer.  It was nice.  As I mentioned before these photos are not your typical weight loss before photos.

I wanted these photos to be us in something that made us feel good. So we both got all dressy and pretty lol and took pics.  We did many different angles so in time we will see the progress.  Each photo we do will be in something that makes us happy and feel good.

I don’t want to go through this process thinking oh man, look at me, I was so ugly or fat.  I want to see myself as a beautiful woman big or small.  That no matter where my journey takes me that day I felt good in that.  And frankly that’s what this is about.

So, ya know I don’t know what the future holds but I do know I really need to put my big girl panties on and get with the program.  I know I need to stop giving myself excuses.  I know the tools, I know how to do this and I know that if I do everything right and it doesn’t work at least I would know I tried.

I while I can say a couple of years ago I did try I gave up because I felt it wasn’t enough, (weigh loss wise) so I owe it myself, my family and those I love to try again.  If it doesn’t work I have to keep pushing for answers and solutions.

It’s all just a crazy journey.  Once I get the pics I will post them here.  I plan to have a tab to show the pictures as I do them.

Ya know, it’s funny, when I met up with my photographer friend, one of the first things out of her mouth was “you look so pretty”.  In my head it didn’t a step back.  I know I’m not dog ugly or anything but for me being bigger I associate myself with unattractive.  I am still shocked to hear “you are pretty”.

In that moment I thought to myself, “Misty, you are WAY too hard on yourself”.  You look at other woman of all sizes and see their beauty why can’t you see yours?  Why can’t I just accept that I can be large AND pretty.  I can wear a dress and look nice and it’s NOT just about my face.  I can be pretty big!

And that’s why I did this. To show I can be beautiful at any size.  I want to be smaller, because I want to be at a more healthy weight.  My health issues can worsen with this weight and I don’t want that.  I also want to feel free in my body.  To run, walk, dance, and play and not feel like I am dying just minutes in.  I want that freedom.

It’s a freedom you rob yourself when you are bigger because your body is limited.  I don’t want to be limited.  Anyways, so tomorrow I will be weighing in.  It might be the same as when I started, it might be more, OR it could be less.  Either way I am facing the scale.  So see you then!

Weigh in Monday

Okay, so it’s not Monday and I was supposed to write this post yesterday but life got busy, well, kind of lazy too and I didn’t do it.  BUT that is NOT because I didn’t have bad news.  I did pretty good last week.  Even pretty decently over the weekend and despite the fact that AF showed up on Sunday which was a total weigh in bummer.  To my surprise I don’t think it hurt me too bad.  So for those who are interested….. Tada……

 

That makes me officially down 8.2 pounds.  I thought that was pretty good.  Now, I will say with AF being here it’s been a bit difficult because not only am I bloated BUT I have horrid cravings.  Ugh, and this weekend I am taking my daughter to a hotel for a girls weekend for her 13th birthday.  I am hoping I don’t end up gaining everything I just lost.  But I have decided I will do my best to eat 90% awesome that way if we indulge here and there it shouldn’t hurt too much.  So there ya have it.  Week one down!  Now on to the next one.

Off to a great start

Before Workout

So this week has gone exceptionally well.  My eating has been on point and being it’s only day three I still consider this a success.  I can tell my swelling is going down which is a huge positive.  It usually does when eating lower carb.  I also went back to the good ole’ gym yesterday.  I haven’t been in a while and decided to make an appearance lol.  I did okay but not nearly as much as I use to.  But hey, like I said I haven’t been in a while.  I know I can’t expect me to start off where I left off.

D even agreed to do thephotoshoot with me that I have in a couple of weeks.  He has gained someweight over the past year and it wanting to get it off and finally get to his goal weight too.  So I am excited for us both.  We both always do better when we do this together.  I think it just helps us both to stay accountable.  Even if when we do things like go to the gym together we don’t work out together it still helps just having him there :).

 

After Workout

We use to work out all the time but then I got into a rut, got mad that things were not going the way I wanted it to and so I just stopped.  I noticed as I stopped so did D overtime when it came to progress.  While he still do go to the gym it wasn’t nothing like he use to do.  I guess there is a lot to say to having a work out buddy.

I am also nervous about next weekend.  One of my daughters is celebrating her 13th birthday and I am taking her out for her birthday.  We are going to the hotel for a few days and that usually means that we will be eating junk.  So my goal is to not to.  AS much as possible.  I don’t want that weekend to derail me like I have allowed in the past.

Plus I figured with me wanting to be a midwife that it’s good for me to get some experience in being out for hours on end and trying to find good choices on the goal.  So I will consider this a test.  A nice trial so to speak.  I will keep you guys up dated as well as probably many pictures to share!

So today is the day

I know this was already supposed to happen but that’s not what is important.  What IS important is today is the day.  Today I am going to do this, for real.  I promise!  I know I say this often if you have followed me before on I am not just a fat girl.  But it’s true.  I told D that I would give myself a good 6 months minimum to trying hard-core before we would have to look into other options.  If anything it’s always good for the doctors.  D is doing it too since he gained some weight the past year himself.

So I start today at 326.4 pounds.  Ouch!  I know apart of that is my lovely thyroid that keeps going a bit off track.  ugh.  Hopefully I can get that a 100% on track and go from there.  Also, in a couple of weeks I will be doing a photo shoot to take pictures of me an outfit that makes me feel beautiful as my “before” pic.  Basically, I didn’t want my before photo’s to be something I should feel ashamed of.  I want to see beauty in all sizes and if I never were to lose than who knows it will turn into pics of me in clothing that make me feel good about me.  So it’s win win IMO.

I really want this to be a positive experience.  I want to look back and see the transformation with pride not sadness.  I also want to show that I can be beautiful big and smaller.  But most of all it’s a process of loving myself and feeling good in clothes no matter my size.  I think that one of the ways to helps keep weight off for good is appreciating your body.  It’s been a long process that I am working on everyday.  I will defiantly keep you guys updated.