So last week you didn’t see a weigh in from me. I will admit last week I wasn’t in the best place. Not really because of my weight persay, just lots of things going on I guess and my hormones I swear are all over the place. Which btw doesn’t help.
So liked expected my daughter’s birthday screwed up all my progress from the previous week. The day before her bday we had some sweets for her, then her bday came and more stuff, and then the weekend.
I could have made better choices, but I didn’t. And that’s okay, I will take it and move on. By Monday I was 325 just one pound less than where I had started what like two weeks before. So instead of being down 8lbs from the beginning I was down .5.
But again, this Sunday really did mark when everything was “official”. Tonight hubby and I did our “before and after” photos together with the photographer. It was nice. As I mentioned before these photos are not your typical weight loss before photos.
I wanted these photos to be us in something that made us feel good. So we both got all dressy and pretty lol and took pics. We did many different angles so in time we will see the progress. Each photo we do will be in something that makes us happy and feel good.
I don’t want to go through this process thinking oh man, look at me, I was so ugly or fat. I want to see myself as a beautiful woman big or small. That no matter where my journey takes me that day I felt good in that. And frankly that’s what this is about.
So, ya know I don’t know what the future holds but I do know I really need to put my big girl panties on and get with the program. I know I need to stop giving myself excuses. I know the tools, I know how to do this and I know that if I do everything right and it doesn’t work at least I would know I tried.
I while I can say a couple of years ago I did try I gave up because I felt it wasn’t enough, (weigh loss wise) so I owe it myself, my family and those I love to try again. If it doesn’t work I have to keep pushing for answers and solutions.
It’s all just a crazy journey. Once I get the pics I will post them here. I plan to have a tab to show the pictures as I do them.
Ya know, it’s funny, when I met up with my photographer friend, one of the first things out of her mouth was “you look so pretty”. In my head it didn’t a step back. I know I’m not dog ugly or anything but for me being bigger I associate myself with unattractive. I am still shocked to hear “you are pretty”.
In that moment I thought to myself, “Misty, you are WAY too hard on yourself”. You look at other woman of all sizes and see their beauty why can’t you see yours? Why can’t I just accept that I can be large AND pretty. I can wear a dress and look nice and it’s NOT just about my face. I can be pretty big!
And that’s why I did this. To show I can be beautiful at any size. I want to be smaller, because I want to be at a more healthy weight. My health issues can worsen with this weight and I don’t want that. I also want to feel free in my body. To run, walk, dance, and play and not feel like I am dying just minutes in. I want that freedom.
It’s a freedom you rob yourself when you are bigger because your body is limited. I don’t want to be limited. Anyways, so tomorrow I will be weighing in. It might be the same as when I started, it might be more, OR it could be less. Either way I am facing the scale. So see you then!