The mind can be very tricky…. I have been on this journey going on 5 years soon and it’s been a uphill battle each month. Some months better than others. This year I decided THIS is going to be the year. I WILL NOT give up. I will work on being positive and I will figure out this thing they call “weight loss”. lol
Every month I had the same problem losing about 10 – 15 lbs and then maintaining. I would soon get irritated, give up and quit for a few months and start over and the cycle would start all over again. I couldn’t understand it. This month proved to be no different in that cycle.
Week one went AWESOME, I lost almost 7 lbs. Week 2 I Gained despite eating great and week three I lost but still had not reached my lowest weight from the previous 1st week. I felt defeated. It was hard to look at old weigh in’s to see each month I was hovering around the same weight.
My mind is thinking, “what is wrong with me? What is wrong with my body?” I just couldn’t understand why it keeps happening. So I told myself, no, this month is different right? So I tried on the pants I still couldn’t fit in a week ago and I could button AND zip them.
It was a challenge and they still don’t fit the way I want them too. BUT It was progress…. Good progress especially since the scale wasn’t moving. I told myself today that I will keep going. I am down at least 6lbs this month. Yeah, I lost most of that the first week, but who cares, if it lost 2lbs a week I wouldn’t be as upset about it?
I won’t lie I DO expect to lose some more next month lol because good lord I can’t stay at this weight forever right? But it’s progress and I can’t let my mind WIN. I cannot let these bad thoughts defeat me. Yesterday I ate HORRIBLE, just one thing after another because I felt down about the progress.
Today, I am not upset about it. It was ONE bad day and today is a new day. Today my bad thoughts don’t win. Today, I squeezed lol into pants I couldn’t squeeze into at the beginning of the month. And next month I promise you I won’t be squeezing in with them. I guarantee you that! The battle of mind is hard. Not listening to that evil voice is hard but you have to push through.
I keep telling myself not to think of the past and my past trials. This year is NEW, I have to look at this like it’s a whole new journey instead of an old one that I keep failing at. This year I am going in with an open mind, with positivity, with the fact of knowing I AM going to do this and I am NOT going to give up.