It’s day by day

I blogged most recently about my depression.  My depression is something that never seems to go away.  It’s something I have been dealing with for as long as I remember.  For me my depression isn’t something that is “temporary”.  For me, happiness is temporary. Depression on the other hand always finds it way back.  EVEN when there is happiness. It’s like a little bug that has infected my brain and I can’t kill it.

Anyways, the interesting thing about depression is you have good days, okay days, bad days, really bad days and days well, we won’t talk about those days.  Right now I am on okay days.  This is good.  Okay days, mean that I am doing a little something.  It means I smile here and there.  Okay days are the days you are thankful for.  I know that probably seems weird but an okay day is a day where you acknowledge that things feel crappy but also it’s just another day and you can get through that day.

Good days, those days they are AWESOME, short lived, something that doesn’t come around often and sadly these days are the days you feel you take for granted.  These are the days where you think that tomorrow will be just a good as today!  Sadly, that’s not typically the way it goes.  At least, not for me that is.  But that’s okay for now.

Currently, I have started to seek out help through counseling.  I am not sure the current place I am going through is going to give me what I need but I do know if I ever want to experience a possible longer happiness time frame I probably need to fix the mental stuff first!?! I am even going to start my 90 Challenge this Monday.  What is it about Monday’s btw that just seem to be the only day to start new things? lol But in all honesty, we get paid this weekend so I have to get the house full with great choices so I can be successful.

So right now I am taking things day by day which is really that I can really do.  I hope that one day I will be free from this life but for now it is what it is.  I will update you on Monday about the challenge.  I hope you all are doing well!  And until then….

 

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